A Loud Throb

“The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart.” ―C.S. Lewis


At a distant silhouette of him, I barely don't know what's going on. He seemed so afar and rankled, yet he still occupies my mind. Isn't it hard to look at him, when I want to regret it slyly afterwards?

Somehow, just the glimpse of him fired up all the heat inside of me, and I can't deny the feeling of warmth sensation swept over my body, that sent shivers to my bones the moment I held his gaze.

How could it all be wrong when every moment of bliss feels so right?

and certainly there's no one to inculpate for every sudden emotion I am feeling right now.

I never knew that having without him in my life scared me to death though, I live my life in amenity before he came.

I openly took hold of everything just to be with him, but maybe I took it for the worst.

Complications got on the way.

Somehow, I thought that everything is just a sham, a lie, one in a million false pretense, and purely adventitious.

But my heart goes at directions my mind can't.

I've known we've gotten a long way already, way too far to put all these behind.

We both knew we could not be together.

We could never be.

Simply because of "Who I am, and who he is.".

Rivalries and iniquities has its bait to spoil and screw everything between us, and it's parlous.

I am in hurt right now.

I hate the feeling of vulnerability surpass me.

Paroxysm has already filled me.

Was my emotions engraved within my very soul?

I hear my heart cries even more.

Being so pathetic away from him.

I know he wound a lot, but it's a million times deeper compared to what I am feeling at the moment.

If we could only pick up what we'd left,

and pursue what we really feel,

I knew I could never been happier in my life.

As my tears silently fall, he dared took a chance to look at me again.

Hoping those piercing eyes could hear what my heart has to say,

Of all the things that it has to be, and should have been.

A/N:

I dedicate this to all who loved and got lost along the way.

/*November 4, 2008*/

Flightless Birds Across The Horizon

“The day I understood everything, was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go.” ―C. JoyBell C.



Have you ever felt that you've been alone for so long?

As if you're really in a crowded place, being with people, enjoying everything that has been happening, and yet there's this still small voice inside that keeps whispering to your inner soul.

You want to be happy.
You are trying to be but you just seem can't.

Being used to getting hurt is never easy.
It never was.
I don't think it will be easy to suddenly make it go away.

Have you ever felt being so numb from the pain and yet you're still asking yourself,"Why does it still hurts?"

There's so many questions running in your head, yet you can't put everything into words and still you want it to somehow release you from your sacred haven—the world you created.

That world is so far away, only you can fathom its height and depth.
A world built from walls and burned bridges.
A place you can call your own.

Being inside your world makes you feel alive.It boils the blood through your veins.It awakens your sunken soul.

Beneath the morbid shadow of yellow and blues, this place resembles your sanctuary.
Your refuge.
The serenity and peace it offers makes you feel restless.
Home. At last.

But it is never enough to stay in your beautiful world.
Sometimes, there's a need, there's a hunger to fly away and make a great escape.

There will come a time that you wanted to search and go forth to something you have been longing to find.
To seek the answers to the questions that you never thought you wouldn't get answers to.
You want to take flight and let the wind lead you where you can go.

Let the soft breeze carry your wings, and free your spirit.
Let it free your burdened soul.

Let go.
Let it go.